Al Olson | Life in the Great Northwest

Well, let's hope for a better 2008.

 JibJab | "In 2007"

Have you forgotten the 2007 highlights already? Here is a recap from Dave Barry.

2007 was a disaster. American consumers came to fear products manufactured in China, which covers pretty much everything in the typical American home except the dirt. Global warming continued to worsen, despite the efforts of leading climate experts such as Madonna and Leonardo DiCaprio, who emerged briefly from their private jets to give the rest of us helpful tips on reducing our carbon footprints.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 Dave Barry's Year In Review

You can't help but laugh at this. Too funny!

 Baby Gives The Evil Eye  
 
Baby Gives The Evil Eye - Watch more free videos

Wow, my second Carpenters link in the same month. What's wrong with me?

But you have to admit, this is a great Christmas eve song.

Merry Christmas!

 Merry Christmas, Darling  

Today is Festivus!

Time to brush up on your Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength.

And it's not too late to buy your Festivus Pole.

 Festivus | Seinfeld 
 

A few weeks ago, Cathy and I went to see "Jersey Boys" at Seattle's Fifth Avenue Theater. It was a great show. For the past two weeks, I've been humming this song incessantly.

I have a lot of memories associated with this song:

• I remember listening to the song on KFRC when it first came out in 1967 while in the back seat of mom and dad's station wagon. I remember wondering if it was a man or a woman singing.
• I remember that awesome scene in "The Deer Hunter" where all the guys sing to this song while playing pool at the tavern.
• I remember a drunken night in 1986 at John Hickey's Christmas party belting this song out at the top of my lungs with Dino, Eric and a few other derelicts.
• And, most of all, I remember dancing to this song with my beautiful bride Cathy at our wedding. It was our first dance as husband and wife. And, Cathy, I still can't take my eyes off of you.

 Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You  |   Scene from "The Deer Hunter"  
        

Max Headroom? Yes, Max Headroom! Everybody's favorite futuristic computer-generated character of the 1980s.

Some of you kids may be scratching your head, saying who the f*ck is Max Headroom. Well, you had to be around in the '80s.

 Merry Christmas, Santa Claus | Max Headroom 

One of my weird readers sent me this story and requested a limerick. Frankly, this one was a bit easy. I mean the guy's name is Dobowik. That's not Nantucket, but it's pretty close in the land of limericks.

There once was a chap named Dubowik
Who went to the doc when he got sick
He pulled down his shorts
Doc let out a snort
Cause 'Hot Rod' was tattoed on his dick.

OK, aside from the stupid limerick, here are a few random thoughts ...

• Dubowik runs a Phoenix topless bar. Yeah, I figured he wasn't a brain surgeon.
• The doctor was showing the photos to other members of the surgical staff. I guess he isn't a brain surgeon either.
• Dubowik says he got the tat on a $1,000 bet. I'm sorry, that no amount of money is worth that much pain. OUCH!

 Doctor Accused of Taking 'Hot Rod' Picture

Some people get tattoos. Some people get breast implants.

But here is a guy who got a breast implant for his tattoo! WTF?

Meet the Man with Breasts in His Leg

I know a few knitters, but I had no idea how hardcore it could be.

From The Wall Street Journal: Participants say Sock Wars brings out bloodthirsty instincts in the knitting community.

Competitive knitting? Who knew?

 Competitive Knitters Get Deadly Serious |  WSJ.com

My big brother Dennis sent me this video. And, yes, it sickens me to think of the sad state of affairs the American news media is in these days.

And now it's about to get even worse.

(Disclosure, my paycheck - indirectly - comes from one of these media conglomerates.)

 Is Junk Media Making You Sick? 
 

OK, this video is so last year. A censored version of this song aired on "Saturday Night Live" on Dec. 16, 2006. One year and one day later, it's still funny. And it's sure to become a Christmas classic ... just like "White Christmas."

Justin Timberlake and Saturday Night Live's Andy Samberg won an Emmy for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics. Seriously. 

 D*ck in a Box (Uncensored) | Saturday Night Live  

It was 30 years ago this month that this memorable performance occured. I was a freshman in college and a huge fan of Elvis Costello (thanks to my older brother Steve). I was too chemically impaired at the time to realize that this was a "protest" of some kind. I just dug the song. Still do.

From Infamous Moments in Saturday Night Live History:

On December 17, 1977, Elvis Costello and the Attractions performed as a last-minute replacement for the Sex Pistols, who were unable to obtain passports. NBC and the show's producer Lorne Michaels didn't want the band to perform "Radio Radio", since the song protests the state of the media. The band defied them by beginning to play their song "Less Than Zero", stopping, with Costello telling the audience that there was no reason to do that song, and telling the band to play "Radio Radio" instead. It infuriated Michaels because it put the show off schedule, and the band were barred from performing again. (Note: Eventually Lorne Michaels put his grievances aside, lifting the ban, and Elvis Costello would appear as musical guest in 1989 and 1991. He also reprised his performance of "Radio Radio" with the Beastie Boys for a 25th anniversary special aired on September 26, 1999.)

 Elvis Costello | "Radio Radio" 

A few weeks ago, I asked you to send Christmas mash-ups. Here's one that was sent to me by GuerrillaDan, relatively new reader.

Pretty sobering.

 Happy Xmas (War Is Over) 
 

Here's a stocking stuffer for those born with a silver spoon in their mouths. For only $495, you can buy a tiny pill that will put pretty gold flakes in your poop.

This is the very definition of flushing your money down the toilet.

Sh*t Glitter

So, the other day I blogged about the Nutty Buddy - an athletic protector of monumental strength. An astute reader (thanks, David) alerted me to yet another baseball link.

Why do baseball players always grab themselves? Because they can.

Major League Crotch Grabbers

Last week, my colleague Linda wrote about this 'totally nude yoga' video. Look, "Nude Twister" is one thing, but nude yoga?

A few weeks ago, I commented on the fact that Pat Robertson believes yoga is anti-Christian. I don't think nude yoga is anti-Christian, I just think its wrong on many levels. Am I being a prude? (That would be a first!)

But who am I to judge? If you think you're looking for a stocking stuffer for that special someone this year, you can buy the video here.

The Naked Truth About 'Totally Nude Yoga'

When was the last time you heard the theme from "Blossom"? or "Barney Miller"? "Hart to Hart" anybody?

This site has TV theme songs from A (A-Team) to Z (Zorro) and just about everything in between. I spent way too much time checking it out.

If you think you know a thing or two about old TV show themes, play the game.

 TV Theme Music 

You've heard the expression "Put your money where your mouth is." Well, here's one CEO that put his money somewhere else.

Back in my baseball playing days, I played third base and needed a cup to protect my family jewels. There is no way you could pay me to do this stunt. This guy has BALLS!

Nutty Buddy | Protecting The Boys  

Amen, Brother Keith. Amen!

My comments, Mr. Bush, are often dismissed as simple repetitions of the phrase “George Bush has no business being president.” Well, guess what? Tonight: hanged by your own words, convicted by your own deliberate lies. ... You, sir, have no business being president.

Worst presidents ever: Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland ... Bush.

 Countdown With Keith Olbermann | Pathological Liar or Idiot-in-Chief? 

 Deceiving The U.S. on Iran

Today's flashback is actually a flashback within a flashback.

The movie "Juno" opened yesterday and I'm hoping to see it in a day or so. Based on the trailer, it looks like a great movie. Any way, I was checking out the soundtrack and noticed that the all-time greatest cover of a Carpenters song is included. Yes. The Carpenters. This song was on a compilation CD released in 1994.

Here's an interview with Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody, the film's director-screenwriter team.

I love Sonic Youth's version of this song. And I'm not afraid to admit it ... I love The Carpenters' rendition. So, lucky readers, you get a twofer!

As an added bonus, here's a little history about the song.

 Sonic Youth|"Superstar"             The Carpenters|"Superstar"
      

A few readers e-mailed me wondering why I haven't blogged about the Bush-Iran fiasco that broke Monday.

Frankly, my blood pressure rises every time I even think of it.

This guy terrorized a nation with World War III saber-rattling rhetoric and was positioning us for yet another war based on lies. Some of you will say, "He wasn't lying. It was faulty intelligence." Bullshit! This time, he KNEW what he was saying was a lie. Pure and simple.

How can the president say he knew NOTHING about this, when this journalist was writing about this in November of 2006?

President Bush lied to the American people. Period. In my opinion, he perpetrated a terrorist act on the American people. It's fear-mongering of the worst kind.

This guy had zero credibility in the international community before this scandal. I guess he figures it doesn't matter now. He'll just tell even bigger and bigger lies. His credibility can't get any worse.

Look, I know for that there are a few of you who read this blog that voted for Bush ... TWICE! Is there ONE person out there reading this that does not regret that vote? I really want to know.

 Inside the Iran Bamboozle 

      

A reader named Carl sent me a link to this story and dared me to write a haiku for it. Carl, I only write haikus for dead people's tombstones. Sorry. Rules are rules.

Westminster, Mass. - Police arrested a man Monday afternoon who they found sitting in his car by the side of the road with his pants down on the bitterly cold and stormy day, according to Police Chief Sam Albert. "He was pulled over at the side of the road with his pants down around his ankles and smoking crack," Albert said.

This is my favorite part of the story: O'Rourke declined to explain to police why he had his pants pulled down, Albert said. "He didn't want to talk about that," he said.

No, I guess not.

Carl, will a limerick do?

There once was a crackhead named O'Rourke
Who had the IQ of a salad fork
He started tweakin'
Then began freakin'
Because he was caught exposing his dork.

 Pantsless Man Found Smoking Crack In Vehicle

For those of us who lived (and nearly died) through the go-go, dot.com, IPO madness at the turn of the millennium, this video seems oddly familiar.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

So what's the moral of the story? Is it:

• All you need is a solid business plan and you'll make millions?
• All you need is a few buzzwords and a cute domain name and you'll make millions?
• All you need are a few blue shirts and khaki pants and you'll make millions? 

I think the answer is simple. There will always be innovation. And innovation will (almost) always be rewarded in the marketplace. And never underestimate the element of pure luck. I admire those entrepreneurs who busted their asses and hit the jackpot. I respect those who attempted and failed, for whatever reason. But I pity the whiny wannabees who begrudge those who, with a little luck, made a buck. Sure, not everybody who made it rich deserved it. Get over it. Is your ego that wrapped up in dollar signs? Enjoy your life, for chrissakes. Life is not a game to see who can make the most money. Have fun. Love your family. Laugh a little. Life's too short.

No more of this keepingupwiththejones's-itis. It's unbecoming. And it's sad.

(Obviously, this post has been written by a guy who earned bupkis during his short stint in the last dot.com bubble. OK, I have a few worthless shares of Onvia stock. And a lot of memories. And even more perspective.)

 Here Comes Another Bubble